


the acquiring of siblings

by g_xlatea



Category: DCU
Genre: (it's from his perspective so there's a lot of self-blame so just keep in mind that he is a, Character Study, Gen, Guilt, I need to start making progress on my more plotty stories soon, Jason and Steph's deaths are referenced, Kinda, Self-Blaming Dick Grayson, Unreliable Narrator, and this tracks his feelings regarding the events rather than objective facts), multiple appearance's of dickie's, so the narrative can explicitly state that dick tries to take on blame that is undeserved, via guilt complex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-16
Updated: 2020-10-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:41:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26494291
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/g_xlatea/pseuds/g_xlatea
Summary: beginnings and endings of a mantle that was never meant to be a symbolRobin stands for family, always has and always will. But sometimes, family is won in blood.
Kudos: 39





	the acquiring of siblings

**Author's Note:**

> Fun fact, originally I had written _a mantle that was never meant to be a **legacy**_ but then I realised that, according to the version of canon I go by, it was always meant to be a legacy, of the Flying Graysons. So I went with symbol, because that was not the original intention.
> 
> If one goes by a slightly different canon (specifically, the Robin Hood one), I think the opposite holds true. That was meant to be a symbol not a legacy. This doesn't really have bearing on the story, I just thought it was unbearably cool.

i.

Dick was born on the first day of spring; his mother calls him Robin because of that. His father jokes that it is fitting, as he's always bobbin around. Dick is Robin and Robin is Dick. Robin is his parents’ love consolidated into one word. It feels like the sum total of who he is. He is Mary and John Grayson's son and that’s what Robin signifies.

ii.

His parents are dead and he's been taken in by Batman. He wants justice (or vengeance, it's hard to tell the difference). Bruce asks him what he will call himself and he answers Robin.

(It is a defiance. His parents still live on through him. The Flying Graysons did not end with the snapped ropes because Dick will honour them with his every breath. It is him, truly and fully. He is Mary and John's kid still and that he will prove every night).

iii.

Dick messed up and a man is dead. He nearly died himself. Nearly let Bruce die. He's fired from Robin (never mind that it isn't a job) . He wants to scream but Bruce's voice is louder. He leaves instead. Robin is Dick and Dick is Robin with neither being wanted. If he can’t fight alongside Batman, what use is there for him? After all, Bruce doesn’t need a son.

iv.

The Joker shot him and Bruce freaked out. He tells him Robin is finished and somehow he can tell that this time it's final. It's not the same as last time; he's not running away. He's been cast out. (Because last time at least he was searched for and found, eventually. Bruce knew exactly where he was but not one word was said to make him stay, return,) Seems he was right the last time, Bruce doesn't need or want a son

v.

There is a newspaper headline about Robin's return. Except that doesn't make sense, he hasn't been back to the Manor in months. He digs through papers. Bruce has adopted another kid. He has a brother. Except he doesn’t; his wardship dissolved and he hasn’t talked to Bruce since he left. His colors are being worn by a stranger and And God it burns. It is not Bruce’s name to take or give away. It isn’t even Batman’s. Just because it’s become Batman and Robin doesn’t give Bruce a right. He knows what Robin is. What it means. It was all he had when he to the manor and now that he has left, he doesn't even get to keep it.

He gives Jason his old costume. The kid is his brother (never mind that he is Bruce's ward, not his son). Robin is still his first family's and Bruce had no right to give it away; it’s not like Dick has forgiven that. But that's on Bruce, not the kid. So he gives Jason his suit (his permission) and makes the boy his brother. Jason wears the colours of the Graysons and Dick's family feels like more than a family of one again after a long time.

vi.

Jason is dead. Robin is dead. His brother died and he wasn't there. Another family member died wearing the Grayson colours and he couldn't do anything about it.

He’s dead and Dick couldn’t even go to the funeral. Bruce is angry and grieving and it hurts. It hurts because he’s grieving too but now he’ll stay away from Gotham and that feels like a betrayal to his brother but what else is he supposed to do.

The kid was only fifteen. Fifteen… He shouldn’t have been out fighting, why didn’t he discourage him? There was so much they were going to do! A lifetime’s worth of bonding that will never happen because his baby brother was dead, was killed.

His plaque says good soldier and Dick could scream. He wasn’t a soldier, he was a kid. A good kid. And now he was gone.

vii.

A boy he doesn't know is following him saying that Batman needs a Robin. He wants to snap that Robin has nothing to do with Bruce. He's mourning his brother and now he's remembering his parents and maybe Bruce needs him but why should Batman need Robin, why isn't he enough.

But he doesn't. Because Robin isn't his any longer. Because Bruce needs help. And he can't be Robin, he lost that right long ago (His mind screams and asks how? He had the only right). But Tim can. And he calls Tim brother and trains him and, later, gifts the boy his costume. Because Robin isn't his any longer, but it is still the colour of his family.

viii.

Stephanie was Robin. He didn't even know until after her death. He was too wrapped up in his own life and now she's dead and the only legacy Robin has ever been of is blood. The colours were first stained by the blood of his parents, then his brother and now her.

A girl he doesn't know wore his colours. She didn't die in them, but she might as well have done. Robin was supposed to be a way to remember his parents as they were in life rather than in death. Now all it stands for is dead children.

He didn't know Stephanie, not really, but he mourns her all the same. Whether or not he got to decide if she could wear his colours didn't matter. She wore them, which made her his responsibility (his sister). And he failed her. He could have done something. If he hadn't been so preoccupied with Blockbuster, if he'd kept more of an eye in Gotham. But he hadn't and now another Robin was dead.

ix.

Tim is wearing the suit again. A war is going on in Gotham. A war is being waged on him (has been waged, now it's just the aftermath). Tim is wearing the suit again and it's nice to have his brother near but he's barely even half there. When did Tim stop being Robin? He's not really clear.

He still hears the gunshot echoing sometimes, and with the situation in Gotham, it might even be a real one. Everything's up in flames and he sees the circus tent and oh god. Oh god Timmy! But Tim's fine and Dick needs to get it under control, he's freaking out his little brother.

Firefly is there and Dick really doesn't care enough about either of their lives right now to not want to get shot. He can't remember most of what happens. Tim's Robin (when did he stop? what's going on?) And there's the fire and the worry and he's been shot.

And then it's over and it's time to fix his mess in Haven. (Except someone died. Steph. Spoiler. Robin?! Another Robin... She's dead and he didn't even know and he should have done something but Haven's a mess and he's a mess and he's mourning Steph and he didn't even get to know her. He should have and it hurts and he'll fix it. Make it right. Turn himself in.)

x.

He gives Robin to Damian because that's the only way he can see to make him stay. Tim leaves and he doesn't know how to stop him. He wonders, when he gave Tim Robin, the boy became family. Did he think taking it away meant they were no longer brothers?

He works with Damian. The boy is the son of Dick's father, which makes him Dick's responsibility. But giving the boy Robin was as much to make the kid stay as to make him Dick's brother by his choice as well as by both their relation to Robin.

So Dick wears his dead father's clothes (and they feel like a shroud) and tries to run a city that was never his home. He tries to get Tim to come back and to look after Damian and deal with Jason. And when he has time to breathe, he still doesn't because it hurts and he can't get any air into his lungs.

xi.

There is an army of children calling themselves Robin. It is no longer Mary Grayson's name for her son; it is a rallying cry for children fighting an adults' war. They are still his responsibility. Their blood will be on his hand.

Robin is no longer his. It stopped being his long ago. But that has never mattered to Dick Grayson. So what if he doesn't know these children who wear his family's colours? He can still choose to make them family. He can still do his level best to keep them safe.

Because, no matter what Robin had become. Whether it was what his mother called him or what the partner of Batman was called, Robin was still something he could choose to define. Robin had become a soldier's legacy and death shroud. But it also still stood as a symbol of hope for these children.

After all, as he tells Duke (the newest in a line of siblings), for him, Robin would forever and always mean family.

**Author's Note:**

> I am going to come back and make edits. I have read every event I reference, but I am also trying to read in order from NTT onwards (just finished Judas Contract). I'll probably interpret events a bit differently when I read them in linear order, so yep.


End file.
